What a Journal Saw

Lyndsay, who shared her story with the International Bipolar Foundation, already knew she had bipolar disorder. It was difficult to see for herself when an episode was starting, let alone if her cycles followed a schedule. “I never realized how ‘scheduled’ my episodes were until I started keeping a journal. It was only then that I knew when I would become manic or depressed.” Her life was always following a pattern, but it wasn’t always something she could see. You have clients right now living patterns that are invisible to them.

When a client can’t see the pattern, it keeps them unstable. There is no preparation. There are no warnings for others. This isn’t a failure of therapy. It is a structural problem: a session is the opportunity to observe an episode, but it relies on luck to catch an episode in the act. The episode happens on a Tuesday. The session is on Thursday.

Lyndsay’s awareness didn’t come from finding a better therapist. It came from recording her experience. The missing ingredient wasn’t insight. It was the information. It always begins with information.

A humble pen and paper, or a simple text box on a phone. That’s all information needs. Then the picture can take form. Then you can finally see what was kept invisible.

Lyndsay can see her episodes coming and prepare for them. She knows what shape they take, and how long they last. The rhythm she was living became visible. And now she is not someone who bipolar is happening to; now she is someone living with bipolar. This is what information can do for a client. What else could a client see, if it were simply written down?

Source: Lyndsay, quoted in “3 Stories of Rapid Cycling,” International Bipolar Foundation, September 14, 2015.